Real Life... Blah... Who Needs It?

Ok, so I'm in my final year of university. Six months and I'll be off the party treadmill and onto something a little more serious. Joy. I had no objections to being neither rich nor famous but apparently in this day and age it is a requirement that the youth of the world make a name for themselves - or at least achieve something more than the "Most Drunk Person Last Night" award (which I am granted most weeks. Can I help it if I am an overachiever?).

It sounds ridiculous but after almost five years dossing about at Party Central I don't feel ready to leave. Surely I should be ready to be a grown up. Surely I should want to have a job, have money, have responsibility...?

Ha! No. Not a chance in hell! I do not want ANY of these things. I think I've spent so long acting like a teenager that I'm not ready to let it go yet. There is so much immaturity to be had still and the real world expects you to relinquish that playful innocence and act like an upstanding member of the community.

I think there are a number of things I will miss most about university:

1) Getting up at 3pm and then having a nap at 7pm

2) Eating dinner at 1am

3) Drinking at 11am without stigma

4) Falling through the back door after lectures wasted

5) Eating toast for every meal

6) Wasting a whole day on Facebook and thinking nothing of it

7) Listening to music so loud it reverberates nextdoors walls

8) Going to the takeaway at least three times a week

9) Only getting dressed twice a week, when you actually have to be somewhere

10) Waking up at 5am to a housefull of drunk people

I'll miss other things too. Like no one even batting an eyelid when you turn up at a club dressed as a pirate, a disney character, a baywatch babe, a moll...

Or getting so wasted you pass out at six o'clock in the evening and your friends take photographic evidence so they can laugh at you the next day.

University is often described as a stepping stone to the next part of your life. For me this is how I want the REST of my life to be. What's not to like? Ok so the money is crap and I hate writing essays but even so the rest of it is grand. I'm the original Van Wilder. I'm Peter Pan. I don't ever want to grow up. Ok, I can do without the trail of lost boy's looking for a mother figure but beggers can't be choosers, right? Hell if it keeps me in this bubble I'll take the kids, I'll fight the pirate and I'll save the day. I'll even learn how to fly and wear tights. It's a small sacrifice.

I think this is harder because most of my friends are first or second years. There are only three or four of us graduating this summer. So whilst we're off having a Stepford perfect life complete with briefcase, an office with a view and the dead husband under the patio they'll still be doing the childish running around at 3am and rearranging traffic cones.

My Green-Eyed Monster is snarling at the thought of it.