No Smoking Diaries: Day Two

Day Two

Cigarettes: 0
Patches: 1 big fuck off one
Rants: 0... ok, 1... and a half...
Biro's Attempted to smoke: 4

Ok, so day two... here it is.

Woke up this morning so goddamn restless and agitated I could have thrown myself on the floor and thrown a temper tantrum like a four year old. Seriously, I nearly beat the postman around the head because he looked at me as I got the mail. In fact I growled something under my breath about him being a filthy pervert for ogling me in my 'house coat'. I think he was more disturbed by the fact I looked like a friggin' drug addict in rehab. My hair was wild and I had bags under my eyes that could have given Mary Poppins a run for her money.

Not a good look sweetie and a grand way to scare the locals.

Not a good start to the day.

Having consumed an insane amount of food yesterday (and yes it really was, I had 2 crumpets, 3 rounds of toast, 2 pasties, chicken, chips and beans, a fudge cake, a toffee crisp, 2 choc milkshakes, and half a bottle of Pepsi) I decided I would make a concerted effort not to stuff myself today. Replacing nicotine with food is NOT a good substitute but god I could eat my own hand. In fact I could eat your hand. Insatiable hunger is not good. Instead of killing my lungs I plan to become morbidly obese!

I'm not ranting today which is better but my concentration is on another planet. I'm pretty much off with the fairies anyway but I swear to god if I walk into a room once more today and forget why the fuck I went in there I will throw my foot up my own ass. Frustrating a frustrated person is NOT good. My agitation levels are reaching boiling point as it is. I seriously gave thought to running up and down the street and screaming at young children just to make myself feel better. I'm pretty sure its not an arrestable offence... like... 90% sure.

And if my destroyed lungs don't kill me first, boredom will.

Seriously I have never been so bored of everything. I start doing something and two minutes later I'm thinking what the hell am I doing this for. I was expecting to become highly motivated in order to keep my mind of smoking but truthfully I'm content to be surrounded by shit. I couldn't give a crap if my room begins to grow its own penicillin or if wild dogs try to eat my legs. Something to break the monotony will be appreciated. As long as its not too time consuming or requires a lot of concentration.

As I said my ability to focus on anything for longer than ten minutes has gone on vacation to the Bahamas for a month, hopefully it will find my sense of rationality and bring it back. Failing that duty free fags would be a bonus.

Ironically enough my arm is killing me today. Stupid patches are filled with lead, I swear to god. Maybe its a way of punishing you for smoking. I feel like Ive had a bloody injection. Its wank. AND its not taking the edge off.

I've also developed this weird ass habit over night. It's friggin bizarre but I cant stop sucking Biro's. Seriously I have turned ball point pens into pacifiers and am trying to smoke them as if they are cigs. Its insane. But maybe there's a career in that....

I'm joking!! dirty sods. Apparently my gutter filled mind is still in Costa Del Stoke and not stuck in customs somewhere.

I'm half debating getting into bed just to do something. Even if it is lying there counting smokes... I mean sheep.

Where the hell does that even come from?!?!

Who the hell counts sheep to sleep? That shit would just distract me. I'd forget what number I was bloody up to and the way I feel right now my image self would be eating the sheep as I counted them.

Count sheep. Bah.